The Stochastic Game

Ramblings of General Geekery

Cook: Why is Apple AI still shit?

Federighi: I’m reviewing our algos sir but we’re using all the latest models

Random guy: Maybe we have a problem with the Kenyan/Filipino contractors?

Cook: ……?

Random guy: <explains how most “AI” works these days>

Cook: OUR COMPETITORS ARE DOING WHAT NOW??!!

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So at the beginning of Star Trek V, Kirk is doing some death-defying rock-climbing before duty comes knocking… the beginning of Mission Impossible 2 is OBVIOUSLY a homage to this!

What an annoying little shit Spock is, sometimes. "hey Kirk, hey Kirk, be careful, don't slip and full stay focused, no not like that, more focused, holy shit Kirk your mind is fucked, and why are you doing this anyway, it's not logical, your choice of past-time is bullshit and oh hey you fell see, I told you so"
Ethan Hunt also doing some rock-climbing, but he's not an overweight middle-aged man, so it's less believable

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Next on my first-time Trek watchlist: “The Final Frontier”! Oooh boy. When I saw it was directed and co-written by Shatner, I knew it would be bad. The only positive point was trying to do some philosophical god-alien thing like in TOS. But it failed at that, and at pretty much everything else.

The movie poster for Star Trek V: The Final Frontier. And here, "the final frontier" sort of relates to the "great barrier", the thing that NOBODY COULD EVER CROSS, and those who tried NEVER CAME BACK. So of course the heroes' starship goes through it without any problem, and comes back from it without any problem. Barely an inconvenience.
Frankly, I'm with Spock here. If I was sitting at a campfire with Kirk and McCoy and they tried to get me to sing "Row your boat" with them, I would feign ignorance. Holy shit that was painful.
Sybok's special power is sort of interesting, in a very ham-fisted way, but, I don't know, he's just not very convincingly written. The whole plot is stupid anyway, unless I missed something -- can't he just get his own damn ship and go through the great barrier himself? Why does he have to do this whole kidnapping plot?
"A big blue guy with questionable facial hair hygiene, shooting lightning from his eyes and spouting nonsense, is not basis for a religious cult! Help me! I'm being repressed!"

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By the way, Kirk trying to explain Spock’s look and behaviour to 1980s people with “He did too much LDS in the 60’s” was quite funny, not just because he gets “LSD” wrong, but because it could also be interpreted as “Mormons are weird”

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More about Star Trek IV: sure it’s got some funny moments, but between “Search For Spock” and this, it seems to be the point where it’s not just Gene Roddenberry’s story anymore, but some studio’s FRANCHISE. Gotta appeal to more audiences! Can I say it now? THEY RUINED STAR TREK!

This alien probe is so fucking random. Is there a whole alien civilization that sends these things, like "hey do you still have dinosaurs, or trilobites, or dodos? because if not we're going to FUCK YOU UP WITH MAGIC TECHNOLOGY" Did anybody chase it afterwards to see who the fuck sent it? I hope there's a follow-up and the Federation Navy acquires the probe's weapons so they can ionize waters on enemy planets or whatever

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Next on my first-time Trek watchlist was “The Voyage Home”! Sure it’s nice to see the Enterprise crew out of their comfort zone, but the premise with the whales is stupid, time travel in Trek has always been bullshit, and turning this into an 80’s “fish out of water” comedy? Ugh.

The movie poster for "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home"! At first I thought the title referred to being stranded with a Klingon starship behind enemy lines or in uncharted space, having to find their way back to Earth... but no, instead I got some stupid plot about humpback whales. At least I hope the movie increased public interest in animal preservation efforts...
Kirk trying to explain Spock to 1980s people with "He did too much LDS in the 60's" was quite funny, not just because he got "LSD" wrong, but because it could also be interpreted as Kirk saying Mormons look weird
McCoy doesn't apparently understand the concept of "don't mess with the timestream continuum", and gives some magic 23rd century medicine to a random lady in a corridor
Sure, let's teleport a bunch of whales along with 350 tons of sea water. I'm sure the whales won't get completely freaked out and die of a heart attack, and I'm sure that ship below will not suddenly sink

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I’m binge-watching the remaining Star Trek movies because I want to get to TNG and see what that fuss is about. Anyway, the 3rd movie, “The Search For Spock” is, errr, OK? It’s just a big excuse to bring Spock back, which ruins his sacrifice, so I’m not super on board but, oh well 🤷🏽

The movie poster for "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock". I love these old school posters, they don't do them like this anymore. Also, good on Leonard Nimoy getting to direct this one. He did a pretty decent job there.
"Okay yeah we knew you Vulcans have your burial rites and weird mystic bullshit, but we shot your son not even into space as Federation Navy protocol dictates, but onto the surface of some weird-ass planet that can grow life from nothing. We managed to be ignorant, disrespectful, and stupid"
George Takei gets to kick some ass! I'm so happy for the guy.
"What's going on?" "The writers have found a convoluted way to bring back a beloved character! Watch out!"

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Today I’m trying to catch up to any unanswered discussions with #UE5 GameplayCameras #gamedev users who contacted me through various means. Lots of very good feedback there, thanks to all who wrote! If I haven’t replied to you by tomorrow, ping me!

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My first thought after watching “The Wrath of Khan” was that it seems to eschew the “intellectual sci-fi” plots of TOS for some “action sci-fi” blockbuster plot. I wondered if fans originally criticized it and then cooled down on it later, but apparently not? Everybody loved it right away?

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Continuing my first-time watch of all Star Trek in release order, I finally come up to “The Wrath of Khan”! It was a lot of fun, with much better pacing and story structure than the first film. The plot is full of holes and contrived beats but at least it’s exciting! I jumped when I finally saw THE MEME in context!

Movie poster for Star Trek II : The Wrath of Khan
Captain Kirk speaks to some random crew member for apparently no reason... EXCEPT OF COURSE IT PAYS OFF LATER OH MY GOD WE DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING
Khan Noonien Singh is not happy and frankly he's justified. What sort of justice system is the Federation running, that some random starship captain can enact judgment and sentence on people in such as careless way?
OH HEY IT'S THE MEME!!!!!! It happened a lot earlier in the movie than I thought -- I always thought that somehow Khan kills Spock and that's why Kirk is mad? But nah, Kirk is mad because his ship got damaged a bit.

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