Just learned about the efghij programming language, which, I guess, is “literally object oriented” in that programs are “written” by stacking everyday objects on top of each other. For example, this is a factorial function:

(excerpt from the linked Wikipedia article)

This example demonstrates the BelMandel (Bigness Exactly Like Multiplying All Naturals Deemed Equal or Less than) function (otherwise known as factorial). This demonstrates a single-parameter function declaration in which the parameter is identified by sauces.

In this example, the tray and the cutting board constitute code blocks. The oblong plate, however, has a clothes peg on it, which expresses a for loop. The fork is a local variable.

The fork variable is initialized to 1 within the for loop’s initial-value expression. The sauce with the rubber band indicates that the number of iterations is equal to the function’s argument. The stuff on the cutting board is the loop body. Using a stapler, the fork is multiplied by the sauce and the result assigned to the fork using a drinking glass. A hammer decrements the sauce, which demonstrates that the function’s parameter can be used as a local variable too.

Finally, the toilet roll indicates that the return value is the final value of the fork.

Announcing the Canadian Chronicles, Volume 1: Nouvelle France

I’ve been teasing it for a little bit but it’s getting closer and closer! The first three scenarios in the “Canadian Chronicles” series will be released next week on Chaosium’s Miskatonic Repository on DriveThruRPG. Here are some teasers and general information for each!

“After years of family doctor shortages, the North Shore has room for 20,000 new patients”: it’s nice when a government kinda sort of does their job. Took them long enough, but good stuff.

19 September 2026 ∞

“Here’s the full leaked document causing a stir in Alberta”: of course Danielle Smith wants to build a whole bunch of AI data centres in Alberta. With some natural gas pipelines to power them. Through Crown Corporations. While courting separatists. LOL.

19 September 2026 ∞

A nice sunrise in the park. Good fluffy boy for scale.

The sun rise, shining through a copse of trees. Nice golden god-rays are scattered on all sides.

THE ORB TREE IS HERE

(but now the sun is too low and not quite at the tip of the tree)

19 September 2026 ∞

I have a joke about DELTA GREEN but… I don’t feel like telling it. I’m depressed, my family left me, I’m addicted to some unidentified Tibetan drug, room corners look weird to me for some reason, and I just blacked out, wait what day is it?

19 September 2026 ∞

I have a joke about RuneQuest but my left leg hurts too much to tell it… wait, WHERE IS MY LEFT LEG?

19 September 2026 ∞

“How Carney Is Changing Notions of Canada”: This is a good summary of how Carney is navigating the country right now, at least in terms of external / international strategy. There’s of course a bunch more to say about his national projects.

18 September 2026 ∞

“EU chief says she wants Canada to become the bloc’s 1st associate member”: I have my problems with Carney but he’s definitely doing the work that we elected him for, so that’s good. And I wouldn’t mind some of the EU’s consumer regulations and taxes on corporations…

18 September 2026 ∞

The good fluffy boy has now been renamed Drooly McDrool-Face

A good boy golden retriever with a big slab of drool on his forehead

18 September 2026 ∞